


What Lurks Within

by lebedeinetraume



Category: Hogan's Heroes
Genre: Gen, PoW, Prisoner of War, Stalag 13, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-30
Updated: 2012-07-30
Packaged: 2017-11-11 02:09:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lebedeinetraume/pseuds/lebedeinetraume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With a mound of paperwork waiting for him, Colonel Klink is not eager to begin his day, much less entertain in the company of a woodland critter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Lurks Within

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing of these characters or the show.

Reports, reports, reports, that was all Klink had to do this last week, reports! After Klink dismissed the Allied prisoners from their morning roll call, he took his time in retreating back to his office. The weather was clear with clouds rolling in from the north. He shivered at the thought of more snow. As if the ice from the last few clear days hadn’t been bad enough, they were due to get in at least two inches on top of the ice! But even as the cold bit around the Colonel’s nose, his only thoughts were on the stack of reports just waiting to be read and signed. 

Entering the building, Klink tried to start up a friendly chat with his secretary, Heidi, but for all her warm smiles, there wasn’t much to talk about. 

“Are you sure there isn’t any news?” Klink inquired, trying not to let his voice sound as desperate as he felt. “Anything at all?” 

“No, I’m sorry Herr Colonel but nothing has changed.” 

Klink sighed and put his hand to the doorknob when suddenly Heidi called out to him. 

“Oh but Colonel, there was a message left for you earlier…” 

Klink spun around on his heels, his face lit like a child on Christmas eve. “Ah, my dear woman! I knew there was something you had to say to me!” 

“Yes, General Burkhalter phoned earlier to inquire if you would have those reports ready by the time he got here this evening?” 

The Colonel’s face fell and he sighed in defeat. “I’ll have them ready soon enough.” 

Entering his office, Klink hung his coat and sank into his chair. Was his eyes deceiving him or had that stack of papers grown since he last saw them? Stroking his chin thoughtfully, Klink contemplated what to start with. 

“Well, if I need to, I can always drag Colonel Hogan in here. He always provides enough trouble that any reports I don’t get done before the General arrives I can just blame him! Splendid!” 

Klink rubbed his hands together and opened his drawer to fish out his pen. There came a loud, terrified squeak. Acting on impulse, Klink yanked out his hand as he let out a frightened yell. The squirrel stared at Klink, its little eyes alert with bewilderment. Klink tried to move from the ferocious animal but in the next moment, the squirrel wagged its bushy tail and leapt at the Colonel. 

That was it for the Colonel. He threw his hands up in terror and screamed. The squirrel wasted no time on Klink and immediately raced for the nearest shelter. At that moment the door was thrust open and Schultz charged nervously into the room. 

“I’m coming Herr Kommandant!” He saw the Colonel in his chair and scrunched his brow in confusion. “Herr Colonel, I heard screaming!” 

“Get it! Get it!” was all Klink could shout as he gestured at the squirrel that had suddenly made a mad dash for the door. 

Schultz gave a little yell of astonishment as the squirrel raced between his legs and out the door. The confused sergeant looked back to his hapless Colonel as he struggled out of his chair. Schultz straightened, a smug smile was plastered on his face. “Threat removed, Herr Kommandant.” 

“Schultz why are you just standing there! Go get it!” 

“The squirrel is gone, Herr Kommandant, why should I--” 

“It attacked your superior officer now get it! Get it! Out out out!” 

“Jawohl Herr Kommandant! Absolutely Herr Kommandant!” 

Schultz stumbled out of the door and chased after the creature, who had now found escape in racing outdoors. Schultz nearly trampled the other guard that was entering the building at the time. 

“What are you doing dumkopf?” Schultz demanded as the private regained composure. “You’re letting the squirrel get away!” 

“Squirrel, Herr Sergeant?” 

“Yes! It attacked the Kommandant now we must find it!” 

The private nodded and preceded Schultz out the door. By now the squirrel was racing towards the gate, its venture only halted the moment the dogs started barking at it. The squirrel veered away from the gate and raced back towards the two guards running after it. Schultz saw the squirrel and fear filled him. 

He clapped the private’s shoulder and yelled, “You defend your post at all costs! I must hide- er- warn the Kommandant that it is--” 

“Attacking!” Klink finished. He gestured wildly at the squirrel. “Get that squirrel and put it on report!” 

From the barracks, Colonel Hogan watched the fiasco with an amused gleam in his eye. He came to a stop next to Klink and watched as the two German guards chased the little brown squirrel around the compound. “Rations must be pretty tough if you’re going for wild squirrel. A bit too grisly for my taste but I think it would do just fine for you.” 

Klink regarded the American with a look of contempt. “Hogan I have been attacked by that menace and I am going to see to its capture!” 

“Nah, you must be kidding!” Hogan laughed. “Colonel, are you trying to suggest that a little squirrel tried to take you on?” 

“Yes it did and I was within an inch of my life!” 

“Must have been an imported squirrel then. Special operations mission apparently.” 

Klink waved a finger warningly at him. “Hogan I will have no more of your nonsense! My life is in danger and all you can do is make jokes!” 

“Well, who needs a soldier anymore when you’ve got your own trained killer squirrel.” Hogan smirked once more and folded his arms neatly against his chest. 

Klink returned his gaze to Sergeant Schultz and watched as he and the other guard collided with one another. The squirrel scooted around their feet and suddenly raced towards the row of barracks. Two more guards joined the chase. Klink sighed. Why did he always get stuck with the incompetent soldiers? Was it so difficult to catch a squirrel? At least, Colonel Klink thought with a happy grin, he would have a genuine excuse for not getting his paperwork done! 

Behind him, Newkirk, LeBeau, and Carter slunk into the office, ready to collect on the prize they sought.


End file.
